Money talks between partners often get tacky, especially when one partner is a spender and the other is a saver. It gets even worse for the saver to bring up the talk when the spender earns more. Many couples in the US claim not to have money issues because they either have been avoiding the money talk or they don’t want to show the bad side of their home.
According to statistics, the next cause of divorce between couples after infidelity is money. Most divorced couples complain about their partner not supporting their goals financially or not supporting the home as required or some other pertinent money issues. These money-influenced divorces could have been controlled if both partners sat down to have the money talk and get themselves on same financial page but, they either don’t know how to about it or one partner is too cautious to offend the other partner.
To be honest, bringing your partner on the same financial page as you, is not easy. One person must be the bigger man. Below are five steps that can help you be on the same financial page as your partner.
Be selfless: Selfishness will forever hinder the money talk between you and your partner. You need to consider being selfless. It used to be about you before you got engaged. Now, it is no longer about you. Consider how you partner feels when you do certain things; put yourself in the other persons shoes and treat your partner the exact way you want to be treated.
Plan the conversation: Pen down reasons why you need to have the money conversation. The fact that you detest how your partner spends doesn’t mean you should be emotional about it. Prepare logical reasons, rather than emotional one, for why your partner needs to cut down on spending and make sure those reasons are for both your benefits. Carry out research on profitable investments that can interest your partner and back them up logically.
Be patient: You know your partner best. You know what calms or angers him/her. Don’t just tell your partner to take a sit and start discussing money when you don’t know the condition of the atmosphere. Test the waters occasionally. Prepare to have the talk anytime. Chip in money-prudence phrases or comments that are not insulting but sinks into the subconscious. This way, you’re preparing your partner for the “big” money talk.
Have the talk: When the right window to have the money discussion comes, don’t shy away from it. Be prepared to be annoyed by your partner’s responses but, be ready to calm yourself and your partner logically and emotionally. While sharing your plans, discuss how it benefits you both and what percentage you will cater for. Also share how those plans will help secure you both financially in the future.
Encourage, don’t nag: Now that you’ve cleared the air and your partner is now in the loop of the plan you’ve developed to help both your financial lives, don’t nag the next time your partner overspends. Use encouraging words. Tell him/her you know it is hard and he/she is doing well. Celebrate the little wins and with time, you’ll both reasonable be on the same financial page.